Surrender

Recently, I've been doodling the word "surrender" on any scratch paper at hand.

Some versions are printed. Some look like an autograph. Some are written with black ink. And some are in blue. I doodle the word to my heart's content. I may choose to have the word contain symbols or leave it clean so that every letter is clear and readable.

Regardless of the visual display, when I see "surrender" staring back at me, I am terrified. Absolutely terrified. There are times I have knots in my stomach and literally feel nauseous.

I'm also a bit ecstatic.

Do you give yourself permission to surrender? Every time I write the word, it's my attempt to release control. But doesn't it feel good to know the outcome of everything? Then again if we knew everything, we'd leave no room for magic. Perhaps that's why game shows are so exciting for contestants (and the audience) because they don't know what's behind the door.

But before you know it,  "IT'S A BRAND NEW CAR!"

Magic happens when you surrender.